For those of you who do not have access to my daughters FB site, I have compiled some of HER words (she had so many journals). These words span over several years, ending about 1.5 years ago.
To Michelle, on what would have been your 27th birthday:
You and your brother are my greatest accomplishments. I am a better person because of you. The world was a better place when you were in it. With your help as well as His help, I hope to not only get through this but to become a person you both will be proud of. I will always love you and miss you. It was both an honor and a blessing to call you my daughter. As you became an adult and grew into a beautiful woman, you became so much more...you were my friend, my cheerleader, you taught me the meaning of loving, I am eternally grateful that you were given to ME to raise, even if only for 26 years.
From Michelle's journaling (I hope we learn from her words):
I've lived many places which has enabled me to meet many amazing, different people, see a lot of things, and have adventures, but AZ is eternally my home. I'm grateful for what it brought to me. Life is short and the older I get the more I am aware of this fact.."Most of us live our whole lives... without any real adventure to call our own." I'm addicted to good movies...I love meeting new people, having fun, great conversation, etc. I love a great night out on the town with great people but also love my nights at home in "feetie pajamas" with spaceships on them.
I'm me...the good and bad. Well, there is no "good" or "bad'...so I should say the traits some people love and others don't... I give everything I can to those around me. I have been accused of being overly generous, but I hope that whenever I die, at least I know I made other people's lives/experiences better, even in tiny ways.
Do I regret any of my relationships? No. Some of them were stupid. Some were good, and some were bad. Some hurt like hell and left some serious scars. Some were amazing and made me immensely happy. Some were extremely painful. Some were life altering. The really good ones were all of the above. Every relationship I've had (friends, family, romantic) have been a blessing and I truly care about all of those people and am grateful for what they brought to my life and in some cases, continue to bring...sometimes I have trouble seeing it, but I remind myself, even the bad made me stronger and better.
I've been blessed (as an old friend recently told me) because I have had GREAT people in my life; I have great friends. Even the ones who are no longer actively in my world as much or we've parted ways, I can only hope some of their greatness rubs off on me. It is never where you are but who you are with that matters.
Everything has led me to where I am..it isn't fabulous, or even what I expected...in fact, it is nothing like I expected and nowhere I thought I'd be (New York City??). But, that is life...it is never what we expect, and sometimes we hate that and sometimes we love it. Hopefully, we just enjoy it.
We can only hope that in the time we have alive, we grow, improve, and develop....not necessarily into "perfection" but at least consistently becoming better everday.
Where I'm going....somewhere better. I'm a better person than I thought I could be. The answer is that I care, I may be crazy, impuslive, and even very picky about those close to me, but in the end, I am empathtic. I'm going somewhere good in the future, because forgiveness and love allow me to overcome and let people affect and improve my life...moreover, in my desire to improve theirs lives' I become a better person everyday.
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