Tired but happy

I was able to complete 2 different journals and turn them in and I also turned in my first draft of my argument paper (one would think this would come naturally for me, the arguing anyway). I went into school early and spent 4.5 hours working on projects to complete and turn in, then on to classes. My math test which was tomorrow has been delayed until Thursday afternoon. YEAH!

Tomorrow is another early day to work on Math, then to class. I was going to study this evening when I got home but I truly believe my brain is mush...I am going to have to really hit the books tomorrow morning and evening.

I am worried about unemployment being extended again. I try to find at least one job to apply for each day but I am trying not to think about it because it causes me so much stress, then I start eating, the depression, the eating....So, I am trying to remain positive so I can get through the last 2.5 weeks of classes, really can't stumble now, want my deans list status....

Wonderful talk with my son and we are going to try to get together for Christmas. Called and checked on my Mom in the nursing home, hopefully I will be able to see her when classes are done.

All in all a good day. We are supposed to get some snow....LOVE the look of snow after it's fallen, not the cold mind you but you can have one without the other... 

I was talking to someone about my extended family today and it would have been so easy to slip into the negative talk but I stopped myself. I just don't want all the negative, angry feelings....I am happy that I didn't fall into it this time. Practice, practice, practice.....

I'd like to believe these 2 are praying that unemployment is extended and school goes well for me....aren't they cute?

Tuesday morning

Kodi woke me up even before my alarms did. Last night was difficult when it came to food. Mondays are difficult anyway as I have 3 classes and am in school until after 9 p.m. After I ate dinner, which I had planned, I went back for some carrots, some pudding, some celery, and on and on.  I wasn't even hungry! I am not sure if it is left over from quitting smoking and needing something to do with my hands or if it is emotional eating....whatever it is I need to work on this. I have always been a "snacker" but this takes it to another level. I don't remember doing this before I had my thyroid out but who knows, maybe I did...

I need to think small goals here, so tonight I am going to come home after class I will eat, then take kodi out. Instead of just snacking if this mood hits me, I will put pen to paper and write down what I am feeling and going through at that moment.

My papers are due today and I have a test tomorrow. I am going to get through this the best I can then concentrate on my 2 finals next week and then 2 more finals the week after.

Well, off to pack my lunch so I can get to school.

needing some inspiration

Am heading to bed but spent some time reading through some other posts, felt like a stalker, but since I am new here I find it very inspiring to read posts by others. It does however, feel a little intrusive since I don't know these people. Maybe once I start "meeting" others it won't feel as creepy? Until then I have to say it is inspiring....

Monday evening

Completed my access assignment, turned in my case brief for my legal class, and took a test. I have a test in math on Thursday and I still have to work on my papers which are due, I am so far behind in that class =(. But, I WILL complete them and get things turned in. I am bound and determined to finish this semester on a great note, so the next few weeks will be very stressful.....

I did well with watching what I ate today.

Not a good start to the week

I woke up this morning - LATE. Ugh. This is not the time I need to do this. The last 2 weeks of the semester and I am already behind.....I had read on Lanie Panie site where she was trying to get to bed at a regular time every night and I thought , what a wonderful idea!!! Well, after completing my access database I stayed up and watched mindless TV, you know the kind of TV show where you talk yourself into watching it "just to relax". My son has a saying "well that's two hours of my life I'll never get back"..So not only did I stay up too late but I then over slept. So, My new goal for the day is to go to my classes, do the best I can and get my papers done alone the way. Concentrate Anne, you can do this. This fear of success thing (or the belief that I really am not good at something) always seems to rear it's ugly head at times like this. I know inside I don't feel as if I am good enough or deserve it, but I am working through those old messages.....yes I can do it, I believe I have all A's (well not so sure about English Comp) so I CAN do this, I just can't let myself trip over those words that creep up at times like this.

I am not letting this set back get me down, you know why? I went to some of your sites (some of you know who) and read some of your entries. You just have to love this place, comfort and support abounds....off to class (with my lunch packed). I will update when I get home late this evening.

Old Friends and wonderful reunions

An old friend whom I haven't seen in over 30 years came in town (from Colorado) for her brothers funeral. We had lost touch of each other but reconnected a few months ago and have been talking via email. When she came in town she looked me up and we went out for breakfast this morning and then to church.

Isn't it amazing that you can reconnect with someone after all these years and all the feelings of friendship, trust, and caring are there like they never left. We talked about our children, our marriages, our hopes, our dreams, our failures, who we are, and who we want to become. Even though our hands are a little wrinkled, our hair is turning gray, and the lines stay on our face long after the smile is gone, I could see the 12 year old, the 15 year old, and the 18 year old from days past. What a wonderful visit, one that I will cherish for many, many years.

We discussed some of our shortcoming and found that we still have very much in common, another amazing thing happened when we went to church after breakfast. Mind you, this was a church which neither of us had ever attended. When we got there both of us were a little disappointed because we really wanted some contemporary christian music, the kind you can actually feel. Anyway, once the pastor started speaking, I thought he had been listening in to our breakfast conversation! He addressed many of the issues Rebecca and I spoke of which we were trying to "work on" in ourselves. Not only were we able to reconnect and rekindle a very special friendship but we were given direction on some of the issues we are facing.

Life is truly wonderful!

Good morning

I think I am addicted to this site, loving it! Anyway, I finally weighed myself and calculated my BMI (194.2/31.05) to find my starting point. Can't wait to see these start to go down......

A friend whom I haven't seen since HS, over 30 years ago called last night and is in town for her brothers funeral. While I can't go to the funeral Monday I did offer to take her to church this morning and spend a little time with her ( I hope my car smells better). Thus the reason I am up at 3 a.m. LOL. After we talked I decided to get in bed so I could get up early to start on my home work. I have an access project which is a killer and am working on 3 different papers. UGH! Test Monday night in my legal class and a Test on Thursday in Math. Deep breaths....... I did it to myself though, I was a slug on the days off this week and I should have gotten motivated to get these things done slowly. Too bad I didn't start reading these blogs at the beginning of the week, I would have probably been much more motivated. These are some of the behaviors that I want/need to change, especially as I go into next semester.

Have a wonderful Sunday everyone!

A walk in the park and other musings

Took Kodi to the park and we walked about 1.5 miles, which isn't bad considering it's around 30 degrees. I was walking down this path and I saw a path ahead of me, which I had not seen before. I kept looking at the path wondering how I got over there. It took quite a bit of looking to realize it was the same path that I was on, I just wasn't far enough on the path to realize it. Mmmm, I had been thinking about where I was in life and if I was on the right path etc etc. So this was a little thought provoking. For those who know me they know it doesn't take much to get me to think about things. LOL

Anyway, Kodi and I continued our walk, just before we reach the car I must have stepped in a pile which has been so thoughtfully left by a previous dog. Kodi and I each had out drinks of water and climbed in the car. I told Kodi a few times "Boy, you really smell" before it really hit me that it REALLY SMELLED. So much so, that for a second I wondered if Kodi had an accident, but no, she wouldn't do that. By then I am driving out of the park and start to push on the brake when my foot slips off the brake. Even before I looked down, I just knew. Yep, my car mat was a mess as well as the brake. I drove down the rode and pulled over at a business where I could get out of my car, try to clean my shoe and get the mat out.

After all this was done, I was back in my car ~ thinking again....after having the small revelation as I was walking through the park I follow that up with stepping in dog poo....I am choosing not to think about the poo part too much and will concentrate on the fact that I did get out of the house and motivated myself enough to walk 1.5 miles.....but isn't that like life? You're walking around feeling good about yourself and you step in poo. That's when you choose how you are going to react....

Inspiration

I spent of last night reading some of the blogs and all I could think is, what a great bunch of people! Not only did I feel inspired that I could do this, that I really want to do this, but I found some great tips and wonderful stories which will help me along this path.

I do feel motivated and my head is filled with some good suggestions.

New member

I heard about this site from a friend and am excited to get started! Vara Friska means "be healthy" in Swedish, in honor of my mom and my new mantra. I quit smoking about 7 months ago and do not have a thyroid so I am a little outta control. Since my children are on their own and I began a new life as a full time student a year ago I decided I need to find or recreate a healthier, happier me. It has been difficult since my kids moved out but I want it to be a positive experience.

My emotions tend to affect my eating (along with other area's of my life) and I need to commit to a schedule of exercise, isn't that way I bought my Wii.

I am looking forward to "meeting" new people and reading what other have to say here.